R U OK?Day – A Rover Scout's story

Today is R U OK?Day – a National Day of Action to start a conversation with the people in your life who may be struggling.

While it’s important to have regular, meaningful conversations to build trust and normalise talking about what’s really going on, sometimes it takes that first step of reaching out to let someone know you’re there.

Today, Rover Scout Sam* shares with us about his mental health struggles, in the hopes it will help others to know they’re not alone.

*Name changed to protect identity

I would always try to be the life of the party. I would like to think people knew me as someone with boundless energy, and a knack for lifting others' spirits. But behind the smile, I carried a weight that few could see. For years, I battled with my mental health, grappling with anxiety and bouts of depression that seemed to come out of nowhere, threatening to drown me in a sea of hopelessness.

Growing up, I felt an unspoken pressure to be perfect. Whether it was excelling in school, being a supportive friend, or being the rock my family relied on, the expectations were relentless. The facade began to crack when I faced a series of heartbreaking losses.

During my later high school years, I faced the loss of my Granddad to terminal cancer. He was the first family member I had ever lost, and his passing left a deep void in my life. Struggling to process my grief while trying to meet the expectations placed on me, I found myself grappling with suicidal thoughts for the first time. 

On top of being bullied and struggling in other social capacities of life, the weight of his loss intensified my anxiety and depression, but I kept pushing through, believing I had to stay strong for those around me. Therapy and seeing my school counsellor became my lifeline, helping me unpack my feelings and reclaim my life. 

Year 12 had passed and I had ventured into the real world, and just as I was beginning to heal, I was hit with another wave of grief when I learned that my Nan had been diagnosed with terminal cancer in early 2022. She lost her fight late last year, and the overwhelming sorrow reopened old wounds, leaving me feeling as though the ground had been pulled out from under me.

I found myself back at square one, but worse off compared to where I was at the end of high school. I was again grappling with suicidal thoughts, overwhelming helplessness, and uncontrollable tears. Despite the darkness, I gradually reached out for support once more, and this was the first lot of professional support I had reached out for after high school. It was a challenging journey, but I eventually received the help I desperately needed, and I continue to receive that help today. 

While seeking professional support, I also confided in many of my closest friends, many of whom are in Rovers, about my struggles. Staying social within the Rovers community, spending time outdoors, and regularly going to the gym were some of the strategies that helped me navigate through my toughest times.

I was in my late teens to early 20s when all of this happened, and I believed that men in their 20s needed to be strong and carefree, as it's supposed to be one of the best times of your life.

It wasn't until I learned that one in 10 Australians actually seek professional help that I realised I wasn't alone.

The more research I did, the more shocked I became. In recent years, on average, 3318 Australians took their own lives – that's 63 people every single week. And for every person who did, another 20 attempted to. Suicide is the leading cause of death for people aged between 15 and 44.

Hearing stories from my closest friends made me realise that I wasn't alone. I found myself wanting to share more, to open up further about my experiences and struggles. I realised that by telling my story, I could help others feel less alone. That's why I've decided to share my story with others online, here, today. I hope that my story can remind us all that it's okay not to be okay, and that reaching out for help is a sign of courage, not weakness.

Now, more than ever, we need to be there for our mates, to lend an ear, and to encourage everyone to reach out. There is always a trained professional available 24/7, 365 days a year. I want all Australians who are struggling with their mental health to remember that it's in our darkest moments that we find the light within ourselves. By sharing our stories, we shine a light for others, guiding them through their own darkness.

If sharing my story can help even one person feel less alone, then it has all been worth it.